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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24315094">what is love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheelchan/pseuds/cheelchan'>cheelchan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Canon Compliant, F/M, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Kuroo is with the Reader from my other fic, Romance, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:08:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,760</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24315094</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheelchan/pseuds/cheelchan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>the four ways kenma would describe love from how he observed it, and the one time he could finally describe it in his own terms.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kozume Kenma/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>85</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>what is love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">For Kenma, love was something that he always observed, not something he would partake in. He could never seem to describe what love was in his own terms. Rather, it was something that the people around him felt and experienced, but not him.</p><p class="p1">He didn't see it as a loss, though, frankly speaking. It just so happened that he was different from the people around him, or maybe he was just a late bloomer, as his friends would say. </p><p class="p1">Besides, it wasn't as if the world was going to end if it never happened to him. Maybe, the people around him were happy, but not experiencing it didn't make him any less happier than they were. </p><p class="p1">But then, seeing the people around him, full of love and affection for each other, made him curious what love truly was. </p><hr/><p class="p2">Love was consistent, a routine.</p><p class="p2">It was something he concluded, seeing his parents: the way they greeted each other early in the morning; the way they were still affectionate even after 22 years of marriage; the way they seemed like they were on their honeymoon, establishing a routine full of support and respect for each other each day.</p><p class="p2">The fact that it was a routine wasn’t something that he liked.</p><p class="p2">It didn’t sit well with him since he was always fond of the extraordinary, something that went against the odds. That was why he became fond of video games because it changed how he would perceive reality. Even his daily life was perceived like some adventure game that he would made up all of a sudden.</p><p class="p2">During the day, he’d imagine various things from the window of the library in his university. This window was his favorite spot because it was a bit secluded. The sun didn’t hit it so much, but it was bright enough so that he could still read and prepare for his classes. </p><p class="p2">Sometimes, he would imagine that there were dragons outside and it was his job to watch over this fortress, in case someone would destroy this small paradise he has for himself. He imagined himself as a hero, wielding a small sword and a shield.</p><p class="p2">And indeed, someone broke into this <em>fortress</em> when one day, he arrived to his spot, only to find someone sitting across his chair on the same table.</p><p class="p2">
  <em>You.</em>
</p><p class="p2">You were sleeping on the table, a few books serving as your pillow. He tried to to recall if he’s seen your face in any of his classes, but no. </p><p class="p2">Your face didn’t spark any sense of familiarity inside his head. You were a new face, and someone entirely new to his life.</p><p class="p2">Fortunately, your head didn’t take the entire table, leaving some space for his laptop where he could read the notes for his next class in an hour or so (he usually played games or streamed when he was home.)</p><p class="p2">You woke up not so long as you panicked, checking your wristwatch for the time. He heard you curse out loud before immediately running out with your books and bag, rambling about being late for class in the farthest building from the library.</p><p class="p2">That was definitely out of the ordinary.</p><p class="p2">Little did he know that his everyday routine of protecting his own fortress broke on that very day.</p><hr/><p class="p2">Love was being patient.</p><p class="p2">It was something he observed from his two childhoods friends, his two neighbors. Kuroo and his <em>other </em>neighbor always pulled each other’s legs, trying to one-up the other in different ways. However, Kenma knew how long the two of them have been waiting for each other; the way Kuroo would wait outside her house with a slice of strawberry cake when things got tough for her; the way she would patiently wait for Kuroo to finish his volleyball team practices since the three of you entered the same university.</p><p class="p2">But Kenma wasn’t patient. More often than not, it was easy for him to lose his temper when things weren’t going his way. Just like how he was about to blow up because his pen was not working right now when he had a handwritten homework that was due in an hour.</p><p class="p2">He tried to test his pen again on his paper, but instead, it made a random mark which he knew was going to cost him a point. He cursed the professor who required handwritten homework when they were already in the time of technology.</p><p class="p2">“Is that for Mizuki<em>-sensei</em>?” You asked, striking a conversation with him for the first time since you’ve started to sit on the same table for weeks.</p><p class="p2">He looked at you, slightly surprised to hear your voice. He nodded in response, remembering the name of the accursed professor who seemed to want nothing but to torment his students.</p><p class="p2">Taking out a piece of pen from your bag, you chuckled, “Been there, done that. I know how irritating his classes are, but just be patient. He grades based on your effort and output.” You motioned for him to take the pen as he stared at you for a while.</p><p class="p2"><em>You were probably a year older than him</em>, he deduced as he murmured a small ‘thanks’ before taking the pen and rewriting his paper on a new sheet. You were busy on your phone, which vibrated once in a while.</p><p class="p2">When he finished, he cleared his throat, earning your attention. “Thank you so much for helping me out<em>,”</em> he thanked you once again as he handed you back your pen.</p><p class="p2">“No problem! I’m glad I could he-”</p><p class="p2">“You brat! There you are! I’ve been waiting for an hour for you!”</p><p class="p2">Someone went up to your shared table with him as you sheepishly smiled at the newcomer. <em>A close friend, judging by the lack of awkwardness between you two</em>, Kenma mused inwardly, observing how you and your friend were interacting.</p><p class="p2">“I told you that I’ll be down in a bit, right?” you grinned to your friend as you placed your pen inside your bag, standing up from your chair. You left hurriedly with your friend, but unexpectedly waved him good-bye before your figure disappeared against the crowd.</p><p class="p2">It didn’t take Kenma long to figure that you were actually waiting for him to finish using your pen.</p><hr/><p class="p2">Love was a choice.</p><p class="p2">It was what he observed from Hinata Shoyo who chose the road less traveled by venturing all the way to Rio to do what he loved the most - volleyball. He wanted to learn everything that he could for the one thing he loved the most, even if he knew that it was the path less taken.</p><p class="p2">On the other hand, Kenma hated difficult tasks. He usually slacked off when he felt like things were already too hassle for him. It wasn't that he would give up, but it was more of him exerting less effort, especially when he didn't need to do so much to get things done.</p><p class="p2">It was already seven in the evening, but he had yet to go home because he was busy on his laptop, playing some games. You were peacefully asleep on your spot, your head on top of a pile of books, reminding him of the first time he saw you. </p><p class="p2">From the way your hair was all over the place and how you were slightly snoring, you were probably experiencing sleepless nights since midterms week was a month away.</p><p class="p2">It was already quarter to eight when you groaned, finally waking up after sleeping for a few hours. He pretended he couldn’t see you wiping the drool on the side of your face as you tried to be as sneaky as possible. </p><p class="p2">You checked your wristwatch, cursing as you realized that it was already <em>this</em> late. You hurriedly packed your things as he decided to quit his game, placing his laptop inside his bag. You hurriedly returned the books to the proper place before you went back to the table, taking your bag.</p><p class="p2">“Shall we?” You asked him as he blinks for a moment before nodding.</p><p class="p2">He doesn’t know how it happened, but the two of you were walking together side-by-side until you reached the train station.</p><p class="p2">“Thanks for waiting for me,” you smiled before you parted ways since your routes were opposite each other.</p><p class="p2">He didn’t know how to tell you that he wasn’t <em>really</em> waiting for you, and it <em>just</em> so happened that he was busy playing on his laptop until it was about eight in the evening, but he chose not to say it.</p><p class="p2">He didn’t know why, but he just chose not to.</p><hr/><p class="p2">Love was courage.</p><p class="p2">It was from the way he has seen Tora go all-out for love, even if he knew that there was a chance he was going to get rejected. While in high school, Tora was always scared of talking to girls, but once he found the right person, he no longer cowered, finding the strength to confess his feelings to the love of his life.</p><p class="p2">However, Kenma preferred to think things clearly, quietly observing before making a plan and then, he would strike a move. Some called it cowardly, he preferred calling it being strategic.</p><p class="p2">But when he saw you being approached by two drunk men while you were out, he couldn’t think straight, walking away from his friends to get in the way between you and the drunkards.</p><p class="p2">“Please just leave me alone!” You cried as you were trying to get away.</p><p class="p2">Unfortunately, the drunkards had already cornered you, leaving you no means of escaping. The two drunkards laughed at your plea as Kenma reached you in time before they could grab your arm.</p><p class="p2">“There you are,” Kenma pretended as if he was looking for you the whole time. You stared back at him, surprised that he suddenly showed up. </p><p class="p2"><em>It wasn’t like he could just turn the other way and leave you alone.</em> </p><p class="p2">“Are ya wiz ziz sizzy looking boy?” the drunkards were already slurring their words, pointing at him.</p><p class="p2">You glared at their words, wanting to refute their insults, but they were holding empty beer bottles that they could use against you two.</p><p class="p2">“Y-Yes, I’m with him, so please just leave us alone,” you begged, your voice slightly panicking.</p><p class="p2">At that exact moment, Kenma wished that he looked more intimidating like his childhood friend. At the same time, he regretted that he didn’t take his <em>other</em> childhood friend’s offer to teach him karate. But, more than ever, he regretted his own stupidity for just marching up to you without any plan when he wanted nothing but to make you feel safe.</p><p class="p2">That was until a volleyball made its way to the head of one of the two drunkards.</p><p class="p2">“My bad, my bad, I was testing out my new volleyball,” Kuroo smirked as he showed up, his figure easily towering the two drunkards with his 6’2 height. A girl was standing beside him, an intimidating look on her face to add to the fighting stance she was already sporting. </p><p class="p2">The two drunkards looked at each other, reaching a silent agreement to immediately leave, knowing that they were gonna end up beaten to a pulp if they didn’t leave. You and Kenma sighed in relief as Kuroo and his girlfriend went near the two of you.</p><p class="p2">“How rude, they didn’t even give back my new volleyball,” Kuroo clicked his tongue twice at the last part, picking up his ball. </p><p class="p2">Kenma rolled his eyes as he turned to you, your knees were still shaking from what just happened. “Hey, do you want me to bring you home?” He offered, knowing that he couldn’t just leave you alone when you were in this exact state.</p><p class="p2">You could only nod, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to make it home in one piece from fear.</p><p class="p2">“Well then, we’ll be going ahead, okay, Kenma, Kenma’s girlfriend?” His <em>other</em> childhood friend smirked at the last part before leaving with Kuroo.</p><p class="p2">Kenma rolled his eyes, partially tempted to just flip a finger towards her direction. He noticed, however, that you didn’t seem hear what she said, obviously still feeling the aftereffects of what just happened.</p><p class="p2">“I’m here, okay? Don’t be so worried. Usually, they don’t approach people who are with other people,” Kenma tried to reassure you.</p><p class="p2">You just nodded, slightly feeling better because of his words. You knew he was right.</p><p class="p2">“Thank you. You don't even have to do this, or to even show up and help me, but thank you for saving me.”</p><p class="p2">“But, I didn’t do so much?” He was clearly confused why you were thanking him when he just stood there with you the whole time. “I was just standing there with you until my friends arrived.”</p><p class="p2">You shook your head, correcting the notion he had in mind, “You being there was more than enough. I was already about to cry, but having you there with me, even before your friends arrived, that gave me a lot of courage. And now, you’re bringing me home, even when you live the opposite way.”</p><p class="p2">"You're welcome," was all he could say.</p><p class="p2">He didn't know how to tell you that he was a bit happy that he was able to help you. He also couldn’t explain how and why his body moved all of a sudden to help you out, even at the risk of injury, but he was glad he did.</p><p class="p2">The two of you soon arrived outside your house.</p><p class="p2">“This is my stop,” you said, pointing to your house. The lights were on, signifying that your parents were already home. Thus, it was safe for him to leave you already.</p><p class="p2">“Take care, okay?” He reminded you, as you nodded before you went inside your house. He immediately left for the station, heading to the other end of the train line.</p><p class="p2">Maybe, barging in without a plan wasn’t so bad once in a while.</p><hr/><p class="p2">Gradually as the weeks passed by, he found himself always staying in the library. </p><p class="p2">You, too, were always there on the same table, either sleeping or studying for class. The only times you wouldn’t be around was when you had class or if he had class. </p><p class="p2">At the end of the day, one of you would wait for the other to finish. Afterwards, the two of you would walk to the station together, since it was safer to walk together during the night.</p><p class="p2">He paused for a moment, realizing something that he shouldn’t have forgotten all this time.</p><p class="p2">“<em>Senpai</em>,” he called you as you turned to him right before you were about to part ways in the train station. “I just realized something.”</p><p class="p2">You raised an eyebrow, a bit curious what was keeping him from going home to play his video games. In the past weeks, you've gotten to know his habits and his hobbies. You even found out that he was a famous Youtube streamer and that he was thinking of establishing a company of his own soon. </p><p class="p2">“What’s up?” You asked.  </p><p class="p2">“I never got to ask you for your name," he blurted out, feeling embarrassed that he never knew what your name was. </p><p class="p2">He usually called you '<em>senpai</em>', a word that he used to dread over when he was in high school. But, nowadays, it seemed so natural for him to call you that since you've always been kind and patient with him.</p><p class="p2">You laughed as you realized that the two of you never had a formal introduction of names. You only called him ’Kenma’ because that was what his friend called him that one time he saved you. You also realized that he never called you by your name, always calling you 'senpai' when he needed to get your attention.</p><p class="p2">“Seriously? We’ve been going home together for so long, spending time for months in that library, and you just realized you never knew my name?”</p><p class="p2">You were still laughing, as he frowned, slightly flustered from the reaction you were giving him. You only stopped laughing when you told him your name. </p><p class="p2">Hearing your name for the first time made him immediately stop frowning. You repeated your once more as he nodded, immediately registering it inside his head.</p><p class="p2">“Don’t forget my name, okay?” You tried to stop yourself from laughing but he, himself, laughed at the absurdity of the situation. The two of you were practically dating, but this was the first time he asked you for your name.</p><p class="p2">But, hey, at least, he now knows how to describe love in his own terms.</p><p class="p2">If anyone asked him what love was, he would just have to give your name.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, this could be like a sequel to my earlier Kuroo/Reader fic (Of Wagers and Strawberry Cakes). Obviously, she's not named, but you can still make out her character from the previous fic hehe </p><p>I hope you enjoyed this fic! I also hope Kenma wasn't out of character. I actually just wrote this in one seating tbh haha</p></blockquote></div></div>
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